You know, when you're a teen, there is always a bit of haste in most planning, and if it is completely thought out ahead of time, the plans become smashed.

Such was the case with this weekend. I managed to have my weekend completely planned out from Friday evening/night-Sunday.

Friday-Party
Saturday-Six Flags
Sunday-Spend time with Jessica

But of course, since all of this was planned out, it led to a huge domino effect of ruined plans.

So, the party I planned to attend Friday became a "girls only" party-which led to-The mall with Ian and Zach, then driving around with Zach all night.

Six Flags Saturday turned out to be a big misunderstanding between my neighbor Kelsey and I-which led to-a night of seeing the new movie Paranormal Activity. But the thing about it, is that I was originally supposed to see it with David, Alejandro and Zach. But by the time we were supposed to leave, I ended up watching the movie with a completely different group of people, and the other 3 didn't even go.

And my Sunday plans with Jessica turned into a trip to Cici's Pizza Buffet with David and Alejandro, then the mall.

My planning process in my head has officially been punched in the crotch. I hope this doesn't happen again.

Here I am, one week after my crazy breakdown, and happier than ever.

Why is it that this always happens? I'm almost alway happy, but when something goes wrong, it goes completely wrong. Sometimes it picks right back up, like it did in this case, and sometimes it doesn't. I feel like I've let a lot of people down the past 2 weeks, as I haven't been at GYM. The thing is though, I've become so busy, that I want to spend my Wednesdays AT HOME. I'm sick of running around. I've been busy with all kinds of things, both school related and unrelated.

But I feel things smoothing out now. Everything is much better now.

But, I feel I must rant on my Algebra teacher, since I haven't been very interesting in my recent posts.

If it's one thing I utterly dread about some teachers, is that some of them think that calling students' parents and updating them on their progress in class is a genius idea that will always lead to improvement. Mrs. McNeil is one of those teachers that cares way too much, but is also very...what's the word...unprofessional. Now, I'm not saying she doesn't teach well. I'm not saying that she doesn't act like a teacher. But there are times when her sense of mindset is...odd. She thinks that she is intimidating and can scare us into doing our work.

But she can't.

She thinks that she can be funny with us, and if we don't agree with her humor, she can intimidate us.

...But she can't.

She has become another teacher that bothers me in the way she carries herself. She seems so out of place. She's from Abilene, so she's probably used to hick kids who all have parents that will jump at the sound of a phone call. I mean, who calls someone's parents during the 2nd week of the six weeks? Mrs. McNeil does. Maybe I'm just being sour about this, but she has randomly decided to call once I start to do better, which has caused me to look bad instead. I hate when people have bad timing.

So last week, I was having a great time socially and a horrible time academically.
Things seemed to have flipped.

Jessica's parents have almost completely taken away her physical social life, which means no dates anytime in the near future. I had a feeling something this good wouldn't be able to last long. I was supposed to meet her parents, they were gonna like me, and they were gonna let us date.

But No.

Turns out, they're gonna start picking her up immediately after theatre rehearsal, and she can't go anywhere or do anything after the football games. This of course means that our plans are being put on hold. I'm so frustrated, because I had thought that we had everything finally going right.

The only bright side I have to look forward to is the fact that I don't have any homework, and today was a day off from school...extracurricular-wise. And I managed to get my brother's Tool CD that I've been wanting to use in my car for some time now.

But all of this doesn't change the fact that I am being indirectly cock-blocked from a girl I've had my eyes on for God only knows how long. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess it's time to shift into my thinking mode and figure out a plan like only I know how.

One paper down, another to go.

At this rate, it only seems natural that there should be a nice calm breakthrough in all of this insanity. I feel that my head is in a swirl of colors, so while I like them, I am also aware that I can't see anything but the colors.

I'm ready for the fog to lift.
I'm ready for the train to stop.

I need to think.
I need to breathe.
I need to live without a schedule for a while.

Thanks to a poem we are recently studying in Miss Garner's class, I have felt the dire need to live my life freely. But due to the raging amounts of stress I've been having to put up with, I don't see how that is going to be possible.

If everything goes as planned, Friday should be the break I need. My plans are to spend some time with a good friend that I haven't spent time with outside of school in forever. Then, I'm hoping that after our away game ends, I can spend some much sought after alone time with Jessica.

I've been enjoying theatre rehearsals, but right now, I could do with a couple of days away from that. I could do without having to go to GYM. I could do without the pressure from my parents. I want to relax.

In the near future, I plan on waiting for a warm, sunny day and I'm going to drive to a field and just do absolutely nothing. Maybe I'll take a nice little nap in the grass. Maybe I'll stare at the clouds. Maybe I'll get there and leave shortly after without having done any of these things. I just want to have some alone time where I can do what I want. I need my surroundings to be covered with music in order to soothe my frenzied soul.

If I don't get some rest and relaxation, I just know that I'm going to get sick. My body has already tried to throw a fuss about 2 weeks ago, but I've managed it very well. I don't need a full on illness to set me back any more. What makes this so frustrating is the fact that I know I'm not the only one swamped at the moment with so much curricular-related work.

Well, my emotions have been utterly mixed the past couple of days.

My social life has been booming, as I've been talking to a girl named Jessica, who just brightens my day. But since I'm sure no one cares about the details of that, I will simply say that I have been in more than an ecstatic mood lately. I also got my license yesterday, which means new possibilities for me.

But, along with the amazingly good, I have had some overwhelmingly bad going on at the same time. I have been dutifully stressed lately, mainly due to the fact that I have let it build up. I know am faced with a literary analysis paper that I must finish. I also have to do some World History homework that is due tomorrow.

What makes all of this so insane is that my happiness has seemed to numb my stress and worries, and so I'm constantly reminded of the load of work I have, but I seem to keep veering off from my point.

Even right now, I've got my paper next to me, but I'm listening to music and typing this. Will I actually finish this on time? The sad thing is, I can't really say. I can only hope that some motivation will kick in and I can get it done.

As a few other people have stated, I really need a break. I need rest. I don't want a calm that preludes a storm. I want a peace that comes shortly after. I really hope this storm ends soon and is followed with some peace to recuperate from all of this madness.

Tonight was homecoming, one of my favorite days of the year. Homecoming 2 years ago was normal. I was normal.

But the past 2 have been fun mixed with extreme hate and anger at the fact that people can't seem to understand when they are supposed to be happy. I try to make people smile and help them enjoy a good time by dressing up.

Last year it was a banana costume.
This year, a watermelon.

You would think that people would just smile and wave. Maybe take a picture or 2. Maybe even get an awkward hug. Something I always seem to get though, aside from the aforementioned, are the dicks and assholes who can't seem to stop fucking with people. So who do they turn to tonight?

Me.

I always have to put up with people who think it's cool to pick on someone who is getting a little more attention than them. They feel like they have to try to ruin other peoples' fun by trying to piss them off in any way possible.

Something that angers me even more, is that kids are being taught this at young ages too. What happened? I thought I was gonna have to punch a 5th grader today. I already have morality issues, so it's a strong possibility that I could.

But nonetheless, I manage to expect this every time before I go out, so luckily, I always have a witty backup plan. I'm a bit passive, so I must always be thinking on my feet, so as to not offend anyone, or if I do, do it in a very strategic manner.

I had to do the latter to a giant corn-fed guy in the stands for calling me a Douchebag. I told him that he's the douchebag for not dressing up at homecoming and simply wearing a collared shirt to a football game. The strategic part? I was many levels higher than him, so if he had the idea of coming after me, I could outrun him.

So yea, what happened to having a good time and enjoying other people as well? Have we become that low as to shun people who want to cheer other people up. Are we actually being taught to condemn the creatively funny? Is it abnormal to be happy now?

It's quite a shame to see what our generation is evolving into.

Wow, it's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted. I've been meaning to so badly, but every time I begin to write, I get distracted.

Excuses aside, things have been going on an upward slope for me for quite some time now. I joined the dive team, however, I don't get to practice until after the musical, due to it not being under the conflicts section in my cast application. I have been very frustrated with Zach lately, because he keeps saying over and over how badly he wants to make an instrumental with himself, me, Ian, and Adrian, but every time we plan to play, he ditches me. I've begun to not care about making any melodies with him anymore. I guess we'll have to see how this weekend plays out.

I was sick Sunday, and about half of today with what seems to be a cold. I can't say that I've had even a handful of colds in my lifetime, so I'm not sure. But things seem to be doing better. I just have some coughing and a runny nose, which is the absolute worst thing to have when you want to get an hour's sleep in Health. Yes, that's what I had to put up with today. But nonetheless, I feel confident that I will be near 100% tomorrow if things go as well as planned. Since I don't have any homework tonight, I'm planning on finally watching Monday Night Raw, then getting to sleep a bit earlier than usual.